Christofascist Neocon Zombie Brigade on Patrol

So, you don't think there's a war against women's medical freedom in this country? You think they'll stop at overturning Roe v. Wade and we can all live unhappily ever after without fear of further encroachment on our private lives? You don't think they'll do everything in their power to make a woman pay for being a sexual person with forced pregnancies and severely limited access to birth control? You think maybe they aren't vicious enough to penalise a woman who needs oral contraception to regulate, say, cysts that might appear should she not take it?

And what's next, after that? A panel of upstanding white Christian men to weigh the evidence presented by a doctor submitting his patient for a D&C to eliminate the cysts brought about by lack of management with oral contraceptives? Make sure they're not trying to sneak in a D&C to get rid of unwanted tissue that ISN'T cystic in nature?

You naive motherfucking fools.

This is the proposed law behind which Governor Matt "Dick" Blunt of Missouri has thrown his full support:

SB 609 - This act protects the conscience rights of pharmaceutical professionals. Such pharmaceutical professionals shall not be required to perform, assist, recommend, refer for, or participate in any service involving a particular drug or device that they have a good faith belief is used for abortions. In these instances, the pharmaceutical professional shall be immune from civil or criminal liability and will not have their license suspended or revoked.

Employers cannot refuse to hire, discriminate against, segregate, or terminate a pharmaceutical professional because of their opposition to any service involving a particular drug or device that they have a good faith belief is used for abortions. Colleges and teaching hospitals are also prohibited from discriminating against any person who refuses to participate in any service or training which involves a particular drug that they have a good faith belief is used for abortions. In addition, they are prohibited from requiring a student or teacher to pay fees to fund these activities.

A party injured by any of the acts described in Sections 338.603 to 338.606 can institute a civil action to recover treble damages, court costs, and reasonable attorney's fees.

In describing his support for the so-called Conscience Protection for Pharmacists" bill, Governor Blunt says:

Recently, pharmacies have taken action against pharmacists who refuse to fill prescriptions for RU-486 or the so-called morning after pill.

The language referring to RU-486 describes a situation that is factually impossible, and by using it, Governor Blunt is attempting to make Missourians believe he is doing something quite different than this legislation would actually achieve.

Morning After Pill
But let's start with the morning after pill, or Plan B, as it is sometimes called. That drug is made from the hormone progestin and "is prescribed as a back-up in the event of unprotected sex or a contraceptive failure, such as a condom breaking."

Progestin is the same hormone that is used to make "The Pill," as in, the commonplace, run-of-the-mill, oral contraceptive used every single day by thousands of Missouri women.

For those of you who aren't familiar, "The Pill" works to prevent pregnancy:

  • By stopping the release of an egg from the ovary (ovulation).
  • It may prevent the union of sperm and egg (fertilization).
  • If fertilization does occur, it may prevent a fertilized egg from attaching to the womb (implantation).

Since the "morning after pill" is the very same hormone as "The Pill," you might be curious as to how it works to prevent pregnancy:

  • By stopping the release of an egg from the ovary (ovulation).
  • It may prevent the union of sperm and egg (fertilization).
  • If fertilization does occur, it may prevent a fertilized egg from attaching to the womb (implantation).

Sound familiar? It should, because it's the same hormone, and it prevents pregnancy in exactly the same way.

And according to the Kasier Family Foundation, the "morning after pill" or Emergency Contraception (EC), as they call it:

does not affect an established pregnancy, nor is it a medical abortion drug like mifepristone (RU-486) or methotrexate that end an established pregnancy. Studies of women who inadvertently continued to take their daily birth control pills (the same hormones as EC) during the early weeks of pregnancy show no evidence of negative effects on the fetus.

So when the Governor equated "the morning after pill" and RU-486, he was intentionally deceiving by equating two very different things.

Here's what's going on, people:  Blunt and the people behind this bullshit law have deliberately conflated the "abortion pill," RU-486, with the "Morning After Pill." The fact is, pharmacists do not dispense RU-486. Doctors do. But by deliberately confusing the two in the wording, they're getting what they want: a law allowing pharmacists to refuse to dispense birth control (for that is what the "morning after pill" IS) without legal ramifications.

I am prescribed oral contraceptives by my physician. In my case, they serve a dual purpose; even if I didn't need it as birth control, I'd still be taking it because, in my case (and it is the case for many, many women), taking oral contraceptives greatly reduces the build-up of cysts in my uterus and ovaries. When I don't take the Pill, in a short time my menstrual cycle is erratic and eventually I experience great pain (to say nothing of the inconvenience of bleeding for sometimes three weeks straight).

Such was the case last year, when my gynecologist found such a frightening accumulation of cysts that we actually thought I might have cancer. After numerous tests and much inconvenience, she determined I needed a "therapeutic" D&C. After that, she put me on oral contraceptives -- and I've had no problem with cysts since.

Roy Blunt and the rest of the Christofascist Neocon Zombie Brigade want to make it legally permissible for any pharmacist to refuse to dispense my physician-ordered prescription of oral contraceptives because they consider it the equivalent of abortion -- science, facts and common fucking sense be damned.

The Christofascist Neocon Zombie Brigade wants me to go it alone, "au naturel," let those cysts build up, make me suffer the attendant pain and inconvenience... because of their ignorant adherence to non-reality based bullshit surrounding the female reproductive system.

And mark my motherfucking words: Once they get rid of the Pill, they'll be coming after the therapeutic D&C. Can't be letting the gynecologist practice their LOVE on that cyst-riddled uterus until we make sure one of those cysts isn't chock fulla human DNA.

So will the day come? The day when I'll lie back on the table, legs spread open wide, and wait for an entire panel of concerned white Christian men to examine my insides and determine, Bibles in hand, whether those cysts are really there, or if I'm just trying to sneak in an abortion under the watchful Eyes of the Christofascist Neocon Zombie Brigade?




Maybe they'll get their female counterparts to do the watching.